handling all the crap in life
Well, what can I say? Life have never been worse for me this year, which I believe will get worse next year. It’s unbelievable that my life will end up like this, so chaotic and messy.
Did I cause it to be like this or it’s just external forces inflicting their effect on my life?
There’s two part to this, army and personal life. These two parts undeinably affect each other, obviously I have less control of what happened in army than to my personal life but I am starting to realize that I have less control of my personal life now.
Is it due to the effect of army? I mean yes,I understands that all our poor little lives belongs to the army right now but of course there is this degree of control that we have over ourselves. I understand that my life is way better than many people out there that is serving the army but things are starting to get out of control.
I won’t deny the fact that welfare is present in our current situation, we are happy with it and we live with it all the way since we came into this small little camp out of nowhere. But ever since there is this change of command, I realized that things are going to be way darker ahead of us.
We are happy with the lives we are living now, even though it’s not perfect but it have been made to be livable and “tahan-able” by our previous leaders, we respect them for that. They know what we are going through and they understand that we have our lives, not just army. They give us benefits so that army doesn’t replace our lives.
However, our new leaders see us as “spoilt” and living a life that is too “comfortable”. So the first thing that came into their mind is change, change and change. Even when Obama in the United States promised changed, all he wanted change was for the better but not for us. It might be better in their eyes but they don’t know what shit it is for us to bear.
What can we say? What say do we have? Is it really true that whatever shit they throw at us we have to bear with it? We won’t ask for more, just keep things the things were and we are happy enough to go through this 2 years without losing so much opportunities in the civilian world. Specifically for me, I would like to learn a new language, learn a new skill for my future career and to learn how to ride a motorcycle. All of us wants to improve ourselves but not at the cost of losing too much time with their loved ones.
This is the new generation, the next era. Every word that came out of our leaders mouth are now swords, swords that will pierce through undefended and un-opposed to our hearts.
Today shall be the start of the day where we won’t only lose sleep due to duty but also losing sleep because we are worried what shit we have to take the next day until the day we leave our beloved little camp.
So my comrades-cum-brother-in-arms, whatever shit that might happen, we have to go through all this together, because this isn’t a fight or battle with anyone else, but it’s a fight with our own lives, it’s a fight to manage our lives so that it is livable and ready for the next step in life.
This is a storm we will go through and will never forget.
